Tuesday, July 28, 2015

In the final days of the beast Effingee many things were revealed. It was as if a great murky cloud was removed from my eyes and I was left with blinding clarity. That clarity made me ashamed of who I had been and how I had hid.

It was revealed to the many that there indeed was no magic in the world besides the magic we make with our own hands and our own blindness. Many hands and much suspension of disbelief joined forces that Saturday morning to make the beast more real than he ever could have been before.

 Hands got busy in assembling him like a giant homunculus or golem of the old world. They decorated him with protective script and totems from many cultures and languages. They adorned him with trinkets and sigils to suggest a very modern and worldly power.

 Elders again came and found meaning in his self-sacrifice. In this ritual they saw and commemorated their long dead but always close ones.

 He bore the names of fallen sons and brothers and they were comforted by those amongst us with hearts heavy with kindness.

 Great artists of the day bore witness and contemplated the signs and portents.
Concocting new tales and myths no doubt for later days.

 Soon the great beast was erected and ready for the long march to his final time here with mortal men.

 He was prepared to carry a light burden to his resting place in the other world.

 The essence of what he was born to do. Carry and bear what we ask ordinary men to but they can not.

 Again and again he is met with love and kindness. Again hope returns to humanity when it slows to see wonders beyond their mundane walk through life.

Even a monster like Effingee can be a brother.

In the final reckoning the great lesson I have learned in this mad quest for this Effingee is that when mankind searches for god or devil, beast or angel to attribute the worst of the human condition to we will always find what we are looking for. When confronted by the reality of our complex nature and society we can not build straw men from the bodies of those living amongst us. The best among us will always answer our panic and dread with calm and compassion.

Professor Vexer  

Tuesday, June 9, 2015


This Effingee, this Beast seems to always be where trouble and discord abound. In my painstaking search I have found evidence of him everywhere, in our city yes, but abroad and even across the globe.

Take notice at his manifestation at the scene of our most troubled incidents of late.

In the ruins of Ferguson Missouri...

In the streets with hooligans.

In the center of conflict.

Our officers of the peace in danger from his jaws!

Reveling in mayhem.

Right at home in this hellish night.

Once again emboldened by the crowd.

Evidence had him in Benghazi at that horrible time.

Can you see him?! At the seat of our government?!

Someone saw him in Nigeria.

His time has come and he will be stopped! I swear it!!

No to set the trap and lay the bait.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Darkness falls

"Darkness falls on the city and the Beast is there. If I don't capture the fiend he will be entrenched in the catacombs of the neighborhoods. They seem to admire him like a long lost brother. It disturbs me. Maybe there is no saving them.

A few seem unimpressed by him. God bless the hardened true born Bostonian.

It appears she tries to kick him like a stray dog.
Good for her!

Her mate in tow she walks on.  He at least showed no kinship to the BEAST. There may be hope.

This man however... 
Seemed almost enchanted and in love. He saw the Beast as a reflection of himself and said as much!
What poor self esteem!

Am I to believe that this brute can master the finer points of chess?! Really?!! This absurd fascination with this monstrosity needs to end! Who is this man sitting down with the devilish fiend to match wits? It must be like talking to an eggplant with legs.

Again we see them tempting fate by bringing the children to see the wild creatures. Why are they not more afraid? What are they trying to look at more closely? How do they not see the danger before them?! HOW??!!

I must not only stop him, I must kill him. 

I must not only kill him, I must pull him to pieces and show them his truth. 

I must make him behave as the wild BEAST he is, this EFFINGEE."

-Professor Vexer

Monday, June 1, 2015

"The BEAST called Effingee (the simple minded creature barely grasps language so he mangled the description "effigy" and took it as his name) has been a busy thing of late. He has been spotted in spurts all over the city and state. There are reports of his manifestation all across the country. He must have some arcane ability to bi-locate at the very least. He has been spotted in Missouri, in Florida, in New York. I rely on his predilection for the streets and neighborhoods of Boston for my pursuit.

Where he appears I scurry to find him. When I miss him by moments or seconds I collect data and artifacts from the scene. I warn the locals against embracing him and trusting him. One day they will be sorry they ignore the warnings.  What can I do but warn them?

Here we see him in the Uphams Corner neighborhood cavorting with all manner of unsuspecting folk. It should be of no surprise that he first encounters an indigent youth (seen with a white head covering and glasses) who takes him to be a long lost friend. The young man, worn beyond his actual years through hard living and poor choices, offers the BEAST a smoke. He asked him for money. He paraded him along as if he were the handler of this giant thug. The BEAST Effingee haplessly sang songs and beatboxes with the sluggard as if old friends. This would seem his natural company.

I fear most the little children who of no fault of their own approach the BEAST with open arms and true friendship. How close they are to sudden danger! How easily he could snatch them up and do who knows what!!! Playing patty-cake does not make him any less the threat.
He draws an unwitting crowd like a celebrity! I was just a step too slow this time.
This is the best photograph available of the monster up close to date. Note the characteristics that distinguish his baser traits;
The small cranium- Evidence of a tiny brain incapable of complex human thought.
The small wide-spread eyes- Evidence of limited but specialized predatory vision. Deeply set in his head to protect them from impact in struggle.
The wide nose- Meant for inhaling and maximizing oxygen while pursuing prey or in combat.
The wide lascivious mouth- Need I explain? Large fleshy lips for sucking moisture, ragged broken teeth for tearing flesh and bones and gristle, powerful jaws that could snap light poles in half.
Sinewy muscles and not a scrap of body fat. He obviously comes from a place that tests its inhabitants at every turn. He is no doubt hardened to survive, and to breed.

 Here this unsuspecting soul, clearly out of her intoxicated mind flirts and cavorts with the BEAST unaware of what she might be stirring in him. No creature this raw and lean is immune to the immutable laws of the wild; kill, eat and mate.
This woman is in clear danger and carries on as if this black thing is just some young stud. I must find him and contain him for the good of civilized society.

What should happen if he were to escape past the boundaries of the neighborhoods where these hardened folks from the rough places of the world; Carribean ghettos, African war zones, embattled places in Asia or Ireland or Poland? They see him and laugh and walk past him or play with him humoring him. Perhaps their trauma has dulled their fear.

Our city is fortunate he has not consumed half of it as yet. I must capture him before he ventures further."
                     Professor Vexer.